==========As You Like It==========

Copyright 2023 by Jen Simons.
All rights reserved.

This story is the sole intellectual property of Jen Simons.  Do not 
change or modify this file in any way noncompliant with copyright law.  
Beyond that requirement, save it to your computer, send it to your 
friends, send it to your enemies, print it out and burn it, whatever.


As You Like It

###
14:33 23 Oct

     Largely through coincidence involving an unexpected move, an 
expulsion, and Stephan Maddingly changing schools a month in for reasons
best left unexamined, I'd managed to wind up the only guy in Theater 
club by mid-October.  That wasn't my plan or anything - I'd joined 
because I figured it was the club least likely to make fun of me for 
being named after a Lord of the Rings character - but it did leave Ms. 
Romero, both the head of the club and my homeroom teacher, struggling 
now and then when assigning roles for readings of historical plays.  I 
guessed she didn't want to assign me a bunch of girl parts, which was 
kind of nice of her, though she assigned the girls plenty of guys' parts
so I couldn't be sure.
     Theater club wasn't anything like Drama-the-Elective; that was more
about picking and performing a single play, while in Theater we did 
readings, discussed the history of theater, and tried out behind-the-
scenes sort of stuff and talked about costumes and such.  With all that,
it wasn't really a surprise when Ms.  Romero announced we'd have a 
costume contest (in the spirit of the season), best costume to win a 
bookstore certificate and ice cream, and then we'd discuss ways to 
improve our costumes for the school-wide Halloween costume contest next 
week.

###
16:21 23 Oct

     I wasn't entirely clear on how we got from Ms.  Romero's 
announcement, to me standing in Alexis' bedroom staring at her.  Well, 
okay, the bus, obviously, but the specifics were sort of a blur.  I get 
weird when I'm sufficiently sleep-deprived.  My inhibitions go down a 
lot; Luca once said it was kinda like I was drunk, especially when I was 
hopped up on sugar on top of it like I was now - Alexis had bribed me 
for whatever-her-idea-was with a massive bag of sour gummy worms, plus I 
had _not_ remembered to sleep the night before.
     "You're kidding."
     Just because she gave me gummy worms didn't mean I was totally 
ready to go along with it.
     "Aw, come on, Flynn, it's not _that_ big a step from trying 
eyeliner."
     "That was one time, yes it is, and do you _really_ think I could
pull it off?"
     "Flynn, have I ever been wrong?"
     I could give a number of examples, but I could already tell I 
wasn't getting out of this, and Alexis' ideas were _usually_ not life-
threatening.  Plus I had to admit I was a little curious, and after the 
time I decked Ellery Jensen for making fun of aforementioned eyeliner I
_probably_ wouldn't get beat up for it if anyone figured me out.  Well, 
not at school, anyway, and I wasn't planning to go anywhere _else_.
     "Alright, I'll give it a shot."
     "Fuck yes!  Okay, just stand there," she said, then dove into her 
closet.

###
16:30 23 Oct

     "Were the panties really necessary?"
     "Stay still!"
     "Alex, I can _do_ eyeliner!"  Barely, and once, but still.
     "Yeah, but that'd spoil the surprise!"
     "I'm the one who put everything else on, is it really that much of 
a surprise?"
     "Hush, I gotta do your lipstick."
     I hushed.  I didn't have anything better to do; I was standing in 
her bedroom, letting her do my makeup, and wearing her clothes.
     "Okay, take a look!"  She spun me around to the full-length mirror 
on her closet door, and I just sort of stared for a while, 'cause 
whoever it was in the mirror was definitely not a guy.
     "Guh."
     My reflection was wearing a black skirt, slightly longer than knee-
length; sturdy black mid-calf boots with a chunky two-inch heel and a 
bunch of silver buckles; a wavy shoulder-length red wig; a bra (and 
padding); a loose black women's t-shirt and a flannel tied tight around 
the waist (girl's waist, not guy's waist); fingerless gloves; and a 
black beanie.  Alexis had left my freckles, or maybe covered them and 
painted on new ones, which combined with the red hair made my skin look 
even paler  than usual, but the black eyeliner, light pink lipstick, and
whatever else she'd done made me look really cute and again, _super_ not
a guy.  About the only way I recognized myself was my green eyes.
     "Holy _shit_," I finally got out, having been sufficiently sobered 
up.
     "Yeah.  _Wow_, Flynn.  That worked _seriously_ well."
     "It's...  kinda scary."
     "Is it 'cause you haven't hit puberty yet, I wonder?"
     "Ugh, don't rub it in," I complained.  I was fourteen and my voice 
hadn't so much as cracked; and the less said about other expected 
changes, the better.  Luca was already teasing me about my total lack of
chest hair.
     "Sorry.  But look, we gotta test this out _immediately_, I'm 
calling Luca."
     "Wait, what?  No, hang on!"

###
16:35 23 Oct

     I finally convinced her to hold off by saying it would be more fun 
to shock him at school with the rest of the Rangers (I think the 
headlock may have helped), but she then decided we needed to go out to 
eat and we could test it out that way, so I think I still lost.
     "Oh no no no," I muttered as I followed her downstairs.  She 
ignored me.
     "Hey, mom!"  she called out as we rounded the corner into the 
kitchen.  Her mom was sitting at the dining room table reading a book, 
and looked up as we walked into the room.
     "Hey, honey!"  She cocked her head, glancing at me.  "This a friend
from school?"
     My jaw dropped as Alexis started to giggle.  Her mom had known me 
since I was a toddler, and yet-
     "Oh, this is my friend, uh, Katherine!  She just moved here from 
Ireland!"
     I shot her a glare and our shorthand sign that meant 'I'll kill you
later'.  She elbowed me with a smirk, and I waved awkwardly to her 
mother, turning on my just-realistic-enough Irish accent.
     "Er, hi Ms.  Thompson."
     "Oh, call me Jodie."
     "Um.  Okay, Jodie."  That was weird.  She'd never told me-as-in-
Peregrine-Flynn that I could call her Jodie, but apparently it was fine
for Katherine, who she'd just met.  I wondered why.  Was it being a
girl, or just that it was weird being called by your first name by a 
friend of your daughter's whose diapers you'd changed?
     *Heh.  Maybe it's just the luck of the Irish.*
     "Anyway, mom, can we go out for pizza?"

###
16:40 23 Oct

     Alexis showed me how to climb into the backseat while wearing a
skirt, then hopped in next to me instead of taking shotgun, so she was 
either being unexpectedly nice or she planned to start tickling me.  I 
leaned toward the window just in case.
     "Katherine?  Really?"  I hissed.
     "Come on, _Kathy_, she didn't even recognize you!  I wanna see how
long it takes!"
     "How much makeup did you _use_, anyway?  And don't call me Kathy."
A pseudonym was bad enough without a nickname based on it, and it wasn't
like the name would be seeing much usage.
     "More than I needed, Katie-cat!"
     "_Bite me_.  Wait, really?"
     "Yes!  That's why I was so impressed!"
     Well.  You'd think learning my face was that feminine would be 
detrimental to my self-esteem.  You'd be right.  At least I looked kinda
good for a girl, going by what I'd seen in the mirror.  Actually - I 
leaned over to check my reflection in the rearview mirror.
     *Jeez.* I looked _better_ as a girl than as a guy.
     Maybe it was just the makeup.  I sure hoped so.

###
16:57 23 Oct

     Alexis' mom parked in front of the outside entrance of the mall's 
Round Table, and we all climbed out.  I was glad the heels on these 
boots were pretty solid, 'cause I immediately hit a spilled drink in the
parking lot and almost slipped.  Alexis caught me as I windmilled and 
propped me back upright.
     "Oh, Katherine, are you alright?"
     "I'm fine, ma'am!  Er, Jodie.  Just found a slick spot."
     "Having trouble with the heels?"  Alex teased as she walked next to
me.  I stuck my tongue out.
     "You walk across a half-frozen slushie in these, and see how _you_
 like it."  It wasn't like it was my first time in heeled boots - after 
the local SCA group dissolved about half a decade ago, my folks wound up
with a trailer full of all the extra gear and stuff, so my friends and I
would run through the woods in maille and garb a lot when we whacked 
each other with rattan swords.  These weren't much higher than I was 
used to, and way sturdier than I figured actual heels would be.  Not 
that I had any plans to compare them.
     We got to the doors without any other incident, at least, and got 
a booth to ourselves.  It looked like we'd arrived just before the 
dinner rush, as it started filling up after us.  A waitress made it to 
our booth eventually, weaving through tables in a way that made me 
wonder if roller skates would improve the working experience.
     "Alright, what can I get you ladies to drink this evening?"  she 
asked, flipping open her pad.  I shoved down the momentary impulse to 
correct her, since I was wearing a skirt and a padded bra so it would 
probably be taken wrong.  Jodie got iced tea, but since they never 
sweetened the stuff here, Alexis and I got half-and-half sprite and 
lemonade instead like always.
     "Can we order, too?"  Alexis asked.  "We already know what we 
want."
     "Sure thing."
     Alexis ordered - pepperoni and olive - then her mom - sausage and 
mushroom.
     "And for you?"
     "Canadian bacon and pineapple, please," I said, just like usual.
     "Great, I'll get all that out to you soon, 'kay?"
     "So, uh, Jodie, how was your day at work?"  I asked, turning to her
after Alex thanked the waitress.  She was sort of staring at me, and I 
looked awkwardly between her and Alexis.  "What?"
     "...Flynn?"  she asked hesitantly.
     *Shit!  I forgot the accent when I ordered!*
     Alexis burst into cackles, and I sighed and dropped the accent 
(thank God).
     "This _wasn't_ my idea."  Her eyes got really wide, and I hurried 
to explain.  "There's, um, a costume contest in Theater club this 
Friday."
     "I figured 'ordinary but unrecognizable' was even better than 
something crazy," Alexis added.  "What do you think?  Pretty good, 
right?  I mean, it took you like half an hour to figure out!"
     She looked at me for a long moment.  "Flynn, don't take this the
wrong way, but that's kind of...  scary."
     I nodded emphatically.  "That's what _I_ said!"
     "Yeah, Katie here's _really_ good at this for some reason," Alex
said, nudging me.
     "But you're...  okay with this idea of hers?"  Jodie asked.
     I wasn't really - I'd put on eyeliner at school once in Theater and
forgotten to take it off, and that was a very different thing from 
intentionally being in public dressed as a girl - but it seemed to be 
going well so far and it wasn't like I had any better ideas, so I 
shrugged.
     "I've worn weirder costumes."

###
20:14 23 Oct

     The rest of dinner was a little weird - Jodie seemed to alternate 
between forgetting I was dressed as a girl, and forgetting I was Flynn 
and not 'Katherine'.  But at least I got pizza and soda out of it, and 
once we got back to their house, my bag of gummy worms.  I got my own 
clothes back and they gave me a ride home, during which Jodie was 
entirely silent and stared at me through the rearview mirror.
     Way to make me feel great about myself, Ms.  Thompson.
     I got home, made my presence known to the 'rents, and headed up to
my room.  I paused as I passed the bathroom door, then found myself in 
front of the mirror, staring at my own face with my hands on the 
counter.
     My black hair was swept out of my face, down to my earlobes in the
sides, a bit longer in the back; but I'd had a wig on anyway, so that 
wasn't a factor.  My eyes looked different, so I could put that down to
the eyeliner; and yes, I had longish eyelashes, but I'd also been 
wearing mascara.  I didn't want to spend a lot of time staring at my 
lips, so I decided to call that the lipstick and move on to my nose, 
which was kind of small.  And sure, I had kinda soft features, and my 
chin was more sharp and delicate than rugged.  Someone at a ren faire 
had once called me 'elfin'.  But I couldn't tell why I could look like 
a girl so easily.  I just looked like...  well, me.
     I shook my head.  *Whatever.* There was half a bag of sour gummy 
worms calling my name, and Luca wanted me to find him the latest episode
of Detective Conan.  Which mostly involved asking around, but I wasn't 
going to disabuse him of his image of my 'leet hacking skillz'.

###
01:20 24 Oct

     When my BOC cassette finished, I glanced at the clock and decided I
should probably stop sketching and go to bed, given that I had school in
the morning.  Which I was not looking forward to, but at least I had a 
day before the Theater costume contest.
     *Oh, Crom, the costume contest.*
     Nope, I could think about that on Friday.  Or at least tomorrow 
night.  _Tonight_, I was going to sleep.  I climbed up onto the top 
bunk, hit the remote switch for my bedroom light, and closed my eyes.

###
02:15 24 Oct

     Yep.  Sleep.  Really soon.

###
06:45 24 Oct

     Bee-dee-dee-deet
     Bee-dee-dee-deet
     Blargh.  Morning.
     One of these days I was taking a sword to that alarm clock.

###
06:55 24 Oct

     I had a brief, horrible moment of looking for my skirt from last 
night, before my brain booted up further and I resolved to strangle 
Alexis later.  I threw on a pair of cargo pants and a t-shirt, staggered
downstairs, and downed a bowl of cereal.
     "Sleep well?"  Mom asked.
     "Yeah."  I'd slept _great_, I just hadn't done much of it.
     "Thought you were at your _girlfriend's_ last night," Sam snarked.
I gave him a flat look, which was about all the expression I had the 
bandwidth to manage.
     "I don't _have_ a girlfriend," I reminded him.  I didn't really 
understand why everyone was so eager to date, and I'd found that not 
caring took a lot of the wind out of people's sails when they tried to 
tease me about it.  "I was over at Lexi's, and frankly Samwise, I'd
sooner date _you_."  She was basically my sister, and if I _did_ feel
that way about her, I suspected she'd hurt me if I suggested it.
     He glowered at me - he didn't like being first-named any more than
I did, but since I was three years older I'd gotten 'Flynn' first.
     "Peregrine, be nice to your brother, it's early."
     Well, except from Mom.  She always used our first names; I think it
was because they were her idea and she refused to admit it was a bad 
one, but she did give birth to us so I figured that was fair.  
Sometimes I wished I had a sister instead of Sam (well, I had Alexis, I 
guess, but I mean one they'd raised), but other times I worried about 
what name _she_ might have gotten (Galadriel?) and figured it was 
probably for the best.
     Dad staggered downstairs just in time to get some coffee in him 
before he had to drive us to school, and then I was snagging my 
backpack and coat and shoving my sneakers on and we were out the door.

###
07:20 24 Oct

     Alexis stared at me blearily, sipping from a coffee cup; by the 
whipped cream, and the fact that coffee tended to make her tired, I 
hazarded a guess that she'd stopped for hot chocolate.  And hadn't 
brought me one.  Rude.  I said as much as I sat down.
     "Ehhh, fuck ya," she said half-heartedly, then passed it over so I 
could have some.
     "Nrrrgh," I agreed when I handed it back.  I was not happy about 
having a first period class, but I was _very_ happy that I'd tested out 
of Algebra and switched to Guitar instead.  I didn't have to use my 
brain for it, I could just sit back and let my fingers do all the work.

###
08:30 24 Oct

     Luca slid into his seat next to me in Biology looking irritatingly 
awake.
     "Man, you look like hell," he said as he opened his notebook.
     "Love you too."  I really wished I had more of that hot chocolate 
right now.
     He rested a hand on my shoulder.  "Seriously, dude, have you been 
sleeping?"
     "I'll have you know I got _four hours_ of sleep last night," I told
him, holding up fingers to emphasize it.
     "You really shouldn't sound so proud of that," Tour said as he took
his own seat, the one behind Luca.
     I shrugged.  "Hey, it's four hours more than I got the night 
before."
     "One of these days I am going to drug your dinner with sleeping
pills, amigo," Luca said.  He only talked Spanish at me when he was 
annoyed but it wasn't going to keep me from being sarcastic.
     "You're assuming I'll remember to eat dinner that day."
     "Dude."

###
12:12 24 Oct

     Luca and Lexi and I claimed the Rangers' usual lunch spot and set 
down our trays while we waited for the rest of them - pepperoni pizza 
today.  It wasn't Round Table, but I'd only gotten food poisoning from 
school pizza once so far, so I was feeling optimistic.  I skipped the 
chocolate milk, though, that was just asking for trouble.
     "So, I tried to call you yesterday, your folks said you were out," 
Luca said around his pizza.  "Over at Lexi's?"
     She nodded eagerly.  "Yeah, Ms.  Romero is having us do a costume 
contest before the school one, so we were working on his costume."
     "Yeah?  What are you thinking?"
     I shoved a hand over Alexis' mouth.  "You'll find out on 
Halloween."
     "Aw, come on!"
     "Nope.  Costume's still in beta, not telling you until- ew!  Did 
you just _lick my hand_?"
     Alex snickered as I rubbed a napkin on my palm, but thankfully 
remained silent on the subject of my costume.  I didn't really want to 
think about it, myself; after a bit of sleep and the end of my sugar
high it was seeming like a bad idea.  Though I still didn't have a 
better one.

###
12:15 24 Oct

     Once they arrived, Luca tried to enlist the other guys in begging -
those being Tour, Phil, Dylan, and Ferris, the rest of the Rangers of 
the Red Hand - but Alexis and I stood firm.
     "Trust me, guys, the suspense'll make it _way_ better," Alex said.
     "Well, fine then!  See if we tell you what _we're_ doing," Dylan 
retorted, arms folded.
     "Just make sure you give Luca's trailer key back to him, yeah?" I 
told them, and he deflated.  It wasn't that big of a guess to assume 
the rest of the guys would be raiding the SCA trailer.  I would be too, 
if I hadn't declared in my infinite wisdom that I'd be doing 'something 
different'.  Talk about understatement!

###
14:30 24 Oct

     "Alright girls - and Flynn," Ms.  Romero added belatedly.  Alexis 
giggled and elbowed me.  "Does everyone have some ideas for their 
costume for tomorrow?  Remember this isn't the school contest - if it 
isn't finished, we'll all be happy to help you work on it."
     Heads nodded around the room.
     "I'll bring the stuff tomorrow," Alexis whispered.  "Meet me by the
bathrooms in the school library."
     "Mm-hm."
     Well, here it was.  Unless I figured out something better, they 
were all going to see me dressed as a girl tomorrow.  They were either 
going to start demanding to give me makeovers, or tear me apart like 
maenads at the Bacchanalia, and I wasn't sure which would be worse.  But
since I'd already said I wouldn't be in SCA kit, the only other idea 
coming to mind was 'Darth Vader so they can't even see my face', and I 
did not have time to build the indicator panel by tomorrow, let alone 
the materials to put together the rest of the costume by Halloween.  
Besides, Dad had forbidden me from trying to build a working lightsaber 
after my welding torch idea went sideways, and a plastic one just 
wouldn't be the same.
     Ms.  Romero took over the room again.  "Now, today I thought that, 
in the theme of costumes and disguises, we'd take a look at As You Like 
It."  That sounded familiar.  She flicked on the projector and centered 
a sheet on it.  "Let's start with Act Four, Scene One"
     I scanned it quickly and groaned - now I remembered.
     "Any volunteers to read?"
     Alexis shot a hand up.  "I'll be Orlando!"
     *Oh no.*
     I had a sinking feeling.
     "And I nominate Flynn for Rosalind!"
     Yeah, there it was.

###
14:40 24 Oct

     Alexis made the argument that historically, Rosalind would probably
have been played by a boy anyway, and the girls had read plenty of male 
parts so far this year; apparently I didn't make a good enough counter-
argument because I was getting dragged up to the front of the class and 
handed a printout.  Courtney stood in for Jacques, Emily for Oliver, and
Sarah read for Celia, and I was standing up there as a boy pretending to
be a girl that was pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl.  My 
head hurt already.
     I put on my usual Shakesperia - an accent almost-Southern, stiff 
posture reminiscent of Peter Cushing, nose just a little in the air; 
after all, Rosalind was pretending to be a guy, so I could just act the 
same way I always did when reading Shakespeare.  And I did, as Courtney 
and I traded lines.  Then Alexis made her entrance.
     "Good day, and happiness, dear Katherine!"
     "Rosalind," Ms.  Romero interjected as I stared at Alex.
     "'s what I said," she lied, smirking at me from out of kicking 
range.
     *Alright.  Y'know what?* I narrowed my eyes in challenge, then 
loosened my stance and turned on the Irish accent from last night as 
Courtney left the scene.  If she wanted Katherine, I'd give her to her.
     "Why, how now, Orlando!"  I cried, resting my hands on my hips.  
"Where have you been all this while?  You a lover!  An you serve me such
another trick, never come in my sight more."  Arms crossed, I huffed and
began to turn away, tossing my head with a pout.  Alexis had frozen for 
a moment, and I kept down a grin at turning the tables, but she came in 
with her line at the proper time.
     "My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise."
     I scoffed, and retorted, and slid into the role; I barely noticed 
the jump over scene two to maintain our momentum as I was swept along 
verse to verse, until I came to myself jarred by the finish, sweating 
under the fluorescent lights of the classroom.
     I looked at Sarah, and she was staring at me.  I turned toward the 
rest of the room, and saw by a glance that everyone else was doing the 
same.
     "What?"
     "Oh my _God_," Courtney muttered.
     "_What_?"
     Ms.  Romero cleared her throat.  "Well, how about a bow and a round
of applause?"
     I had no idea what was up with my clubmates, but some perverse urge
came over me, and I curtsied to them before I walked back to my seat.  
Alexis snorted as she sat beside me.
     "And you didn't think you could pull off being a girl."
     "What do you mean?"
     "You have no idea what you looked like up there, do you?"
     I shrugged.  "I was acting, I don't usually pay attention to myself
when I'm reading lines, I just sorta flow.  Why?"
     She shook her head slowly.  "Flynn, if you told me you'd secretly 
been Katherine your whole life, I'd almost believe you."
     I 404ed.

###
15:00 24 Oct

     Yeah, Flynn, staring at your reflection in the broken mirror in the
guys' bathroom was way less weird than doing it at home.  Gods, what was
wrong with me?
     I decided I needed to get more sleep tonight.  That was probably it
 - four hours out of forty-eight, that was definitely sleep deprivation,
I'd get a full eight hours and then I'd be back to normal tomorrow.
     *Oh holy hells, tomorrow's the costume contest.*
     I splashed some water on my face and looked up to see some senior 
walking in - well, I assumed he was a senior, since he was like a foot 
taller - and smirking at me.
     "What?"  I snapped.  I was maybe a little on edge.
     "You know this is the guys' bathroom, right?"
     "Oh, fuck you," I growled, spinning and slamming through the door.
What, a guy can't worry about his looks?  _He_ could certainly stand to
try it.
     "Flynn?  You okay?"  Alexis was waiting by the water fountain, 
leaning on the wall.  I took a couple deep breaths to calm down, then 
shrugged - she'd kind of caused whatever this was, but it wasn't her 
fault, she'd just had a 'fun' idea.
     "I just need some sleep.  Maybe I'll take a nap when I get to the 
library."  I usually walked there after school to hang out until the 
parentals could pick me up, so I didn't have to ride the bus.  A moving 
vehicle ought to have seatbelts, I thought, at least if it was intended 
to be street-legal.
     "Alright.  If you say so."

###
17:30 24 Oct

     "How was school?"  Mom asked as we pulled away from the library.
     "Fine.  Mr.  Patrick is still on his Beatles kick in Guitar.  Pizza
for lunch.  Found some books that look good."  I patted the stack on my 
lap.  "Pretty normal day."
     "That's good."  She was frowning; something was bothering her.  
Great!  That meant I could get her to focus on _that_ instead of 
noticing I was lying through my teeth.
     "What's wrong?"
     "Well, your dad and I might need to be out of town this weekend.  
But I'm not sure I want to leave you and your brother home alone."
     *Oh, hell yes!  House to myself!*
     "Then don't.  See if Sam can stay with a friend.  I can always go 
to Luca's or Lexi's if anything comes up or I get lonely."
     "I don't know..."
     "Aw, come on.  I'm fourteen.  I promise not to put an arrow through
anything important.  I won't even set the couch on fire.  Scout's 
honor."
     She finally looked at me at that, smiling.  "You never _did_ Boy 
Scouts."
     "Thank God," I laughed.  *Amateur hour.*

###
19:12 24 Oct

     "Flynn?  Earth to Flynn?"
     "Hn, wha?"  I looked up from my plate to see Dad frowning at me.  
"Sorry, what's up?"
     "Are you okay?"
     "Yeah, fine.  Didn't get much sleep last night, 's all."  I took a 
bite of rice to make him feel better.
     "Maybe you should go to bed earlier tonight," Mom suggested.  I 
nodded.
     "That's my plan.  Dinner, shower, bed."

###
19:34 24 Oct

     I let the bathroom get steamy so I couldn't see myself in the 
mirror (I figured I ought to let my self-image stabilize first), then 
hopped in the shower.  I usually preferred to shower at night instead of
in the morning, so the water heater had the day to itself and I could 
get the water as hot as possible.  I apparently had a lot of tension (go
figure), 'cause I could feel it bleeding out of me as I relaxed under 
the water.  Today was weird, that's all.  An outlier.  It was almost 
Halloween anyway, everyone knows things get weird around there.  Yep.  
Once all this costume stuff was over with I could go back to my ordinary
geeky life.

###
20:05 24 Oct

     I got out of the shower, dried off, staggered into my room, and 
locked the door.  I scanned the room slowly.  *What was I doing?*
     *Oh.  Right.  Bed.*
     Yeah, that was a good idea.

###
23:25 24 Oct

     "Alas, and yet, fair Katherine doth still hold claim upon my 
heart," Ellery bemoaned.  "Can coupled we twain not be?"
     I folded my arms in scorn beneath my breasts.  "I tell thee nay,
sir, for I will not bind myself to thee.  Thou art a fool, and like the 
parrot's beak, thy tongue doth weave no words of reason."
     He shook his head.  "Then I mourn, for I wished not our meeting to 
end thus; yet, I had not discounted it.  I shall have thee, maiden, 
though ye may not wish it; for my men await but my signal to bear thee 
away."
     "Then thou prove thyself a fool once more; for I have brought thee 
to thy knees before, and I daresay could again, garbed in skirts though 
I may be; and, moreso, I possess friends of my own."
     Luca swept through the window at my whistle, sword unsheathed, and 
put the point through the loose sleeve of Ellery's letterman jacket to 
pin him to the wall.
     "I come at thy call, my lady," he said with a bow, kissing my 
proffered hand.  "Let us away, ere his followers pursue."

###
06:45 25 Oct

     Bee-dee-dee-deet
     Bee-dee-dee-deet
     I stared at the clock.  Did I seriously get _ten hours_ of sleep?  
I felt good, especially for this early in the morning.  Other than an 
odd feeling of anger at Ellery Jensen, but actually that wasn't that 
unusual.  The football players tended to be dicks; I'd probably had 
another of those shoved-in-a-trashcan dreams and couldn't remember it.  
It had never even actually _happened_ to me - I guess I didn't stand out
enough to get anything more than the occasional tripping in the halls - 
but I'd heard enough stories to imagine it.  Still, I was awake and 
energized enough today, I could probably outrun anyone interested in 
trying it.

###
06:57 25 Oct

     Mom had made chocolate chip waffles; I think she was still feeling 
guilty about her and Dad going away for the weekend.  If she made 
waffles every time, I kinda hoped they'd do it more often.
     "Now, we'll be leaving right after work, so Samwise, you'll be 
going home with Rob.  Peregrine, can you-"
     "No worries, I'll get a ride home with Alex after club."

###
07:23 25 Oct

     Alexis had brought a duffel bag to school for some reason.  She 
unzipped it partway to show me, and I saw a red wig on top of a flannel.  
Oh.  Right.
     "Remember, library bathrooms after school."
     Well, what was the worst that could happen?

###
08:30 25 Oct

     I sat down in Biology and my eyes met Ellery Jensen's across the 
room.  Last night's dream came back into active memory.  ...What the 
_hell_?
     "Oh _gods_," I muttered.
     "What?"  Luca asked, startling me.  I slammed my hands over my 
face, remembering that _he'd_ been there too.  I was pretty sure I was 
blushing and I really didn't want to have that discussion.
     "I don't want to talk about it, and _you_ don't want to hear it."
     "Uhhhhkay.  You sure?"
     "Very sure.  Let's change the subject."  I looked over to Tour, 
just on the edge of late as usual.  It was amazing how he could be so 
fast on a bike and so slow the rest of the time.  "What are you guys 
doing on Saturday?  I'm home alone."
     "Ooh, awesome!"  he said.  "We're coming over, then, that's what.  
Fourteen hundred?"
     "Works for me.  Game day, tell the other guys?"
     "Definitely."
     We high-fived.

###
14:26 25 Oct

     Alexis met me where she'd said - she'd picked the library bathrooms
because nobody actually used them very often - and yanked me into the 
girls'.  I was too nervous to really pay attention to that, first (only,
I hoped) time or not.  She gestured me into a stall and kicked the 
duffel bag under the door.
     "Hurry up, get dressed and I'll do your makeup."
     I hurried.  The bra was easier the second time.
     When I opened the door, she was pulling a tricorn hat out of her
backpack.  She was already wearing a long coat, with large cuffs and 
gold epaulets and buttons, and a probably-plastic cutlass was on her 
belt.  Her boots had higher heels than mine; she still looked more butch
than I did.  She turned to me with a grin, revealing an eyepatch over 
her left eye.
     "Arr, matey, what do ye think?"
     I looked down and flicked my skirt with one hand.  "I think I want 
to trade costumes."
     "None of that, me hearty!  Ye'll blow them out of the water, ye 
will."
     "Yeah, yeah.  Let's get to the makeup, Anne Bonny."
     She flicked up the eyepatch to turn her depth perception back on, 
which I was glad of - I did not want her doing anything anywhere near 
my eyes without it.

###
14:35 25 Oct

     We walked into the classroom, and I took a seat on the opposite 
side of the room from Alexis and my usual spot.  We were a little late, 
but everyone else had to get their costumes on too, so comparatively we 
were still on time.  Once everyone was seated and complimenting each 
other's costumes - there were a couple of 'me but as a vampire' or 'me 
but as a zombie', and a few costumes that looked pretty rushed, so I 
didn't actually stand out that much in ordinary clothes - Ms.  Romero 
took a look around the room, then glanced at the clock.
     "Well, girls, it looks like Flynn isn't here today, so I guess 
we'll get started."  Alexis started snickering, and I realized that 
_none of them recognized me_.  It was one thing for her mother not to 
recognize me when she didn't expect me there; it was another for a 
classroom of people expecting me to gloss right over my presence.  I 
raised my hand before Alexis could spontaneously develop asthma or 
something.
     "Um, I'm right here, ma'am."
     Everyone stared at me.
     "Flynn?  Is that really you?"  Ms.  Romero was a bit bug-eyed - she
looked a lot like Jodie had the other night.  I nodded.
     "Holy _Rosalind_, Batman!"  said Amanda, who was dressed as 
Batgirl.  She had the hair for it - and real, unlike mine.
     "Katherine, actually," Alexis giggled.
     "Wait, is that why Alexis called you 'Katherine' yesterday?"
     "Yeah, we had the idea on Wednesday, that's when she came up with 
the name."
     "Okay, up, I wanna see!"  Heather clamored.  I was impressed - I 
didn't think a person could clamor alone.  I obliged, standing up and 
posing with a cocky shrug that mimicked Han on Endor, and the girls all
got up to crowd around me.
     "Wow, you're so _pretty_!  That is so unfair."
     "Uh...  thanks?"
     Sarah had me turn in place, and whistled appreciatively.  "Ooh, are
those heels?  How are you handling them?"
     "I mean, they're not that tall.  And I haven't had to walk too far 
yet."
     "I love the wig!  Especially with the freckles, it's a good look."
     "Er, thanks, Stephanie," I said in the Irish accent, "I think 
that's what Alex was thinking too."
     I was very much not used to being complimented on my appearance so 
much.  Especially not by nine girls at once.  Actually, 'nine girls at 
once' was still a bit unusual for me, too, we didn't really hang out 
outside of club and usually they only paid attention to me when I was 
reading lines.  Alexis must have been able to tell I was out of my 
depth, because she clapped her hands for attention.
     "Arr, ye've seen Miss Katherine here, now let's get a look at the 
rest of ye!  Fashion show, front and center, chop chop!"
     That idea was a hit, and the girls hustled toward the front - and 
a somewhat bemused Ms.  Romero - and I took a seat in the second row to 
watch.  Emily started off in her full princess dress - "give us a 
twirl!"  Liz called, and she obliged.  It was _really_ fancy and I had 
no idea how she could have put it on by herself, she probably had help.  
She was also wearing _very_ sparkly eyeshadow.
     Kelsey went next - she'd done a really good ANH Princess Leia, and 
I was glad I hadn't actually tried for Darth Vader, because she'd 
definitely get into the role and having her stare me down, considering 
she was taller than me, would have been uncomfortable.
     Alexis sauntered forward after her, drawing her cutlass to make a 
few fencing moves and then taking a bow.
     Besides Amanda (who threw a couple of messy punches), the other 
girls' costumes were in varying states of unfinished, so their turns 
were mostly suggestions from the rest of us, and then Stephanie called 
for the vote.  I voted for Kelsey, but enough of the girls voted for me 
that I wound up with the bookstore certificate.  Ms.  Romero revealed 
that there was actually ice cream for everyone, and we crowded around 
the table, the girls shoving each other to get to the best toppings.  
Heather hip-checked me to get to the chocolate syrup, and I returned 
the favor, 'cause I was under the siren song of promised sugar.  Finally
we backed away from the frenzy, and I sat on one of the desks at the 
front of the classroom.  Sarah stared at my bowl.
     "What?"
     "What _is_ that?"
     "Food of the gods, coz," I said, grinning.  Three scoops of rocky 
road, a lot of chocolate and caramel syrup, a mountain of gummy bears, 
and sprinkles.  I probably didn't have the healthiest daily sugar 
intake, but I hadn't had any problems yet.  I dug in.

###
15:03 25 Oct

     "Um, Flynn?"  Lindsay said, as I passed her to toss my bowl in the 
trash.
     "Yeah?"
     "So...  I'm having this party tonight, and I wanted to invite 
everyone in Theater, except my parents _kinda_ got the impression it 
would be all-girls and that's why they okayed it."
     "Okay?"
     "I wasn't going to mention it, but seeing how well you pull this 
off, and since you're pretty nice, uh, the rest of us all talked and 
you're still invited, if you want."
     "I- nahhh hang on, you're saying if I go as a girl?"
     She nodded, biting her lip.  
     "Yes!"  Alexis said, crashing into me from somewhere to my right. 
"He's coming!"
     "Alex-"
     "Flynn, you never get out and do anything teenagery unless I drag 
you, so I'm dragging you!"
     "That's- that isn't-" she kinda had a point actually.  I went to 
the movies sometimes, but that was about it.  I didn't really do parties
much, only partly because I didn't really get invited.  But the Theater 
girls were fun during club, and it would be nice to actually get to know
them somewhere more relaxed instead of just sitting in the corner with 
Alexis.  Plus the guys seemed jealous of me being the only guy in 
Theater for some reason (probably the whole 'dating' thing again), so if
they heard I went to a party with all the girls, they'd probably blow a 
circuit.  I could just...  leave out the 'dressed as a girl' part.
     *Fuck it.*
     "Sure, sounds like fun."

###


Jen Simons     kickaha.neocities.org